A little over a year ago, I created a blog post that detailed what I believed to describe me as a person. Since then, a lot has changed with how I view myself through my own eyes and others and I would like to update my introduction post. If you would like to read the original introduction post you can access it here.
Nice to meet you! This is my blog where I like to pour my deepest darkest thoughts and hope it touches another life. This blog has helped me grow into the person I am today and I'm very proud of myself for starting it. I wanted to open my introduction by talking about my blog because if you really want to get a grip on who I am as a person, reading my blog is a surefire way to do that. I am proud of every word written on this site and hold each of them very close, so reading through them will help you get a better understanding of the writer.
If you asked me to pick one word to describe myself, the word would be Artist. A majority of my time is spent creating art or indulging in others' creations. I can't imagine a life without art pouring out of everyone and everything. I am a photographer, and I'm quite proud of my most recent photos that you can check out: here. I'm a writer as well, obviously because of this blog, but I also write stories on occasion. I'll be posting one shortly and once I do, I will update this page with a direct link to it. I've also played around more with making music since I downloaded fl studio to my computer. It's so fun to play around with the vast number of instruments at my fingertips because the works of art you can create are genuinely endless. I'm still working to find what I believe to be "my sound" but I will get there eventually. I do draw sometimes, but I don't think I draw often enough to consider myself an artist specifically because I draw. To me, my photography is more important than my drawings. I never really cared to get a certain emotion or feeling across in my drawings, so I don't really care about making my viewer feel something deep when looking at my photographs because that was never my goal. I have a post written about this that you can read here, but to summarize my goal has always been trying to perfectly capture the world before my eyes to connect my existence to others. I love seeing how the world looks through other people's eyes, so I hope others would like to see it through mine. The same goes for music, if you feel something while listening to it, that makes me very happy! If you don't though, I'm not upset at you for not because again that was never the goal. To me, the goal is to create something beautiful and I believe I've done that with all of my songs. My art isn't about what someone else might get out of it but instead could be thought of as my gift to this world for letting itself be my muse.
Nature is incredibly important in my life as well. I believe in order to live a full and happy life I need to have one foot out the door at all times. While I just started exploring the world around me, I have always enjoyed being outside even if I've seen everything I'm looking at thousands of times before. The beauty of the world around me never lessens in value, if anything it becomes more of a treasure to me as I memorize all the parts of it that exist. This year, I have a lot of plans to explore around me and possibly far away from me. It breaks my heart that there is an insanely beautiful and abundant world all around me but so much of it, I'm unable to explore due to it being thousands of miles away. One day though, I will eventually explore all that I can. If I were to pick one thing to be my life goal, it would probably be just that. If in the future one day, I will have explored and experienced all that I can, I will feel as though I've fulfilled my purpose in life.
There are many things that I have grown extremely passionate about throughout my life and currently, I find myself entranced by music. Music always has held an important position in my life but lately, I feel like it means even more than it used to. I used to simply enjoy listening to music but now I feel every song I listen to. I pay attention to the intricate details of the song and am always blown away by so many artists' attention to detail. Sharing music with others is something that I believe shows off a vulnerable part of myself I'm not always comfortable sharing, so doing something like djing where I am showing the music that I love while also trying to learn the skills that come with mixing is an incredibly nerve-wracking activity for me. Even though I say that, it is still something I enjoy so very much. Anxiety has been a problem for me all my life and recently I decided that it doesn't get to continue getting the best of me. Even if something makes me feel like my heart will pop out of my chest, I will do it. I have already done it a couple times this year and I'm proud of myself for being able to accomplish what I have. I have accomplished things that I would not have thought were possible for me years ago. Djing live is another monster that I haven't thought of tackling yet, unfortunately. I definitely will before the end of the year but I'm very much hoping that I will be able to conquer it sooner than later.
These are what I believe to be the core parts of my being. It's honestly extremely interesting comparing how I've written this post to the post from last year, as the way I view myself is completely different. If you get a chance, I'd love for you to compare the two as well. Maybe do something similar to me, and describe yourself in a letter to yourself and then read it after you write an updated version a year later. We are all always growing and becoming better people as we learn to fit the skin we were born with. I believe that I am slowly finding who I am; as I do, I find more love for myself and others. I have lived too many years afraid of being happy because it takes a lot of work to be happy but I am willing to put that effort in now. If I ended up living my life without love in my heart, I don't think that means I would have lived at all. The only way to live life is with compassion and love in my heart for everyone and everything in the world. I'm so proud of the person I've become and I can't wait to see who else I might be.